Constant. Sartorial. Wonderment.

Arlo Weiner is a J.Cruel Man


It’s rare that we stumble upon a style icon so precocious that he’s not even into his double digits. We are pretty sure we were wearing socks on our hands at that age. (Trend for Fall 09! Les Mani-Chaussettes!) So it is with great pleasure that we intoduce our first J.Cruel Man: Arlo Weiner. Mr. Weiner is the eight-year-old son of Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner, and the pedigree is evident. Join us for a gallery of great moments in style for this J.Cruel Man. 


The Young Benefactor Cecile from development said it would be a black tie affair. At 4 in the afternoon? Gauche! Mr. Weiner knows better. A bow tie in a subtle grey stripe gives just a hint of seersucker in the city. Muffy and Bunny Astor-O’Toole thought he was such a dear that they named a stairwell after him.

Tip: Motor skills not up to snuff? A clip on tie is Mr. Weiner’s little secret.


Pip Pip Cheerio Mr. Weiner shows us he’s the most artful of dodgers. Top hats are a great way to add height to your three foot frame. A red kerchief draws the eye up, and denim knickers elongate those dodgeball muscles. Now you’re four foot two! Chim-cheer-oo!

Tip: A sudden accent will confuse your teachers. Try the “Londonderry Stevedore”


Dinner for Two…at 2pm The invitation said McDonalds but he was thinking Saint Andrews. Red and black might seem a bold choice for day wear, but Mr. Weiner keeps his look grounded with a pair of plain khakis. It’s the kind of look that can transition easily from morning recess to afternoon recess, from date to play date!

Tip: Women love when you hit them with rocks.


Sir Mix-a-Lot How to achieve that I just rolled out of my nap look? Mismatched patterns don’t mean you failed Shapes and Colors, it means you transcend them. 

Tip: Keep your style rock and roll all through the day by rubbing in bit of playground sand for that “California Look”


Bonjour Chapeau! It’s his first day at the Sorbonne, 1939. An ensemble in school-boy grey is the perfect first impression. Mr. Weiner keeps the hat on when the Germans arrive. They think he is Frank Sinatra.

Tip: Trim your lunch pail in leather. Every sandwich will taste like jerky. 

UPDATE: Mr. Weiner recently was seen around town wearing a monocle. And stroking a snowy white Persian cat. Cat not confirmed at press time.


1 Comment»

  kelvinj wrote @

fantastic!!Thank you for the laughs!

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